By Michael K. Reynolds
Let’s face it. Die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers fans have been on one wild roller coaster ride this season. It’s been part cheers and part barf bags.
Being a member of the Steelers Nation in 2014 is kind of like having a date with a hot model who is half crazy. You walk into the restaurant feeling like a rock star until dinner is served and she starts casually stuffing string beans up her nose.
Check please.
As Mama always said, you’d be much better off with someone smart, sensible and reliable. But hey…with ten games already gone in the season, this is the team you’re taking to the dance.
Gearing up for a Steelers match can be a challenge. You don’t know whether to bring your Terrible Towel or a paper bag in case you need to put it over your head. Even offensive coordinator Todd Haley doesn’t know whether or not to wear his lucky play calling hat during the games.
Being a Steelers fan shouldn’t be this difficult. And it doesn’t have to be any more.
By implementing a few simple coping skills, you can have guaranteed, stress-free enjoyment of the games for the remainder of the season.
Flip The Record
Experiencing heartache because the Steelers can’t seem to beat terrible teams? Here’s a sure-fire home remedy. Flip the opposing team’s record. Just take the New York Jets 1-8 record and make it 8-1. With a mild dose of dyslexia you can be instantly proud of your Steelers hard fought efforts. Oh my! They came so close. If only they could have recovered that line drive onsides kick. If only Mike Mitchell’s last second trapeze act could have been successful…and professional. So get ready to try this out. Because up next are those pesky 7-2 Tennessee Titans on Monday.
Playoffs? Forgetaboutem…
The reason Pittsburgh cardiologists are so busy is because the fans take these games much too seriously. Getting to the NFL playoffs is overrated after all. There are so many better things to do in January than watching a playoff game. Like…plowing the snow off of your driveway or defrosting the battery cables of your car. If you stop stressing out about winning you’ll enjoy these games in a whole different light. You’ll laugh at those Justin Bieber selfies. You’ll applaud Brice McCain as he does a break dance while Michael Vick runs by him. And when your kids ask, “Dad, is that Blount guy supposed to be running AWAY from the goal line?” you’ll be able to answer with calm, “Whatever makes him happy, son.”
Be A Compassionate Fan
After the shocking loss against the Jets you no doubt heard many Steelers players and coaches say, “Hey, there are no bad teams in the league.” Which if you think about it brings up an excellent point. If there are no bad teams, it means they are all good. Good teams. Good guys. So why just cheer for the Steelers? Root on all of the opponents. Buy other teams’ jerseys just to show your unbiased support of all players, everywhere. Maybe the Rooneys should open up their trophy case and start sharing their Lombardi’s with the other owners. That way…everybody truly is a winner.
