The 2012 NFL season is finally here and kicks off tonight with the New York Giants hosting the Dallas Cowboys on NBC.
As I do every year, below are my predictions for the 2012 season along with some tongue-in-cheek commentary. I will drill down the Pittsburgh Steelers season later this week in a separate post and a much more serious tone..
AFC East: The Patriots just have too easy of a schedule not to win the division, plus one game will be won by cheating. The Jets are Sanchezing instead of Tebowing, while the Bills are still hoping Jim Kelly comes out of retirement. The Dolphins very well could be the worst team in the league this year, but at least they all get to look at Mrs. Tannehill on a daily basis.
AFC North: The Bengals realize they are the Bengals and will take a small step backwards this year, while the Steelers and the Ravens once again battle for the division. This time the Steelers win it outright as Terrell Suggs sits out the whole season with his basketball injury. The Browns continue to be the Browns and the new owner begins his quest after the season to bring Bill Cowher in to run the whole show.
AFC South: If the Texans do not win this division going away, Gary Kubiak should be fired, hired again and then fired a second time. The Titans get better, but not even Kenny Britt could steal this division. The Jaguars examine if it is more economical to move to LA or trade MJD for Tim Tebow straight up. Andrew Luck finds out the hard way in Indianapolis that Oregon State and Arizona State or not on the Colts schedule.
AFC West: This division belongs to the Broncos now until Peyton Manning says otherwise and the city of Denver act like the whole Tebow thing never happened. The Chargers make the playoffs despite Norv Turner, while the Chiefs figure out that Matt Cassel will never be half a Tom Brady. The ghost of Al Davis fires Dennis Allen after a 4 win season.
NFC East: The Giants capture the division via tie breakers over the Eagles, after Andy Reid effectively burns every time out he has in the season by week 9. Cowboys come up just a bit short once again and Jerry Jones realizes that if he reaches deeper into the glory hole that he just might find Sean Payton reaching back at him. The Redskins will be too busy breaking in RG3 and Mike Shanahan finds out that if you have several starting running backs then you don\’t have one.
NFC North: The Bears wake Jay Cutler up just long enough to fall short of the State Farm Packers. The Lions start looking to see if Megatron can play both offense and defense, while the Vikings push Adrian Peterson back into action too soon and he ends up running like Adrian Balboa.
NFC South: The Saints keep the bounties quiet this year and just barely edge out the Falcons for the division. The Buccaneers and Panthers will compete to not come in last in the division.
NFC West: The 49ers take advantage once again being in the worst division. The Seahawks can\’t overcome the coaching of Pete Carroll, while the Rams and the Cardinals look forward to drafting early.
AFC Playoffs: Manning bounces the Ravens while the Steelers take care of Turner one final time in the Wild Card round. Manning continues on to show Bill Belichick that he can beat him while wearing orange in the Divisional Round. The Steelers shock the Texans the their own backyard before avenging their week 1 loss to the Broncos in the AFC Championship game.
NFC Playoffs: Reid coaches his last game for the Eagles in New Orleans in the Wild Card Round, while Eli Manning out duels Cutler in the other game. Aaron Rodgers and the Packers reward Manning with a Discount Double Check in the Divisional Round while the Jim Harbaugh loses to the Saints on a last second play following a premature Gatorade bath. The Packers go on to win the NFC Championship over the Saints and deny them a chance to play in the Super Bowl at home.
Super Bowl XLVII: The Steelers capture their 7th Lombardi against the team that denied them it a few years ago in Dallas. This time Maurkice Pouncey plays and rookie Chris Rainey is named the MVP after registering 300 all-purpose yards in the game.
| AFC | |||
| EAST | W | L | T |
| New England Patriots | 13 | 3 | 0 |
| New York Jets | 9 | 7 | 0 |
| Buffalo Bills | 9 | 7 | 0 |
| Miami Dolphins | 2 | 14 | 0 |
| NORTH | W | L | T |
| Pittsburgh Steelers | 11 | 5 | 0 |
| Baltimore Ravens | 10 | 6 | 0 |
| Cincinnati Bengals | 8 | 8 | 0 |
| Cleveland Browns | 4 | 12 | 0 |
| SOUTH | W | L | T |
| Houston Texans | 13 | 3 | 0 |
| Tennessee Titans | 6 | 10 | 0 |
| Jacksonville Jaguars | 5 | 11 | 0 |
| Indianapolis Colts | 4 | 12 | 0 |
| WEST | W | L | T |
| Denver Broncos | 12 | 4 | 0 |
| San Diego Chargers | 9 | 7 | 0 |
| Kansas City Chiefs | 6 | 10 | 0 |
| Oakland Raiders | 4 | 12 | 0 |
| NFC | |||
| EAST | W | L | T |
| New York Giants | 10 | 6 | 0 |
| Philadelphia Eagles | 10 | 6 | 0 |
| Dallas Cowboys | 9 | 7 | 0 |
| Washington Redskins | 5 | 11 | 0 |
| NORTH | W | L | T |
| Green Bay Packers | 12 | 4 | 0 |
| Chicago Bears | 11 | 5 | 0 |
| Detroit Lions | 9 | 7 | 0 |
| Minnesota Vikings | 5 | 11 | 0 |
| SOUTH | W | L | T |
| New Orleans Saints | 11 | 5 | 0 |
| Atlanta Falcons | 10 | 6 | 0 |
| Carolina Panthers | 8 | 8 | 0 |
| Tampa Bay Buccaneers | 3 | 13 | 0 |
| WEST | W | L | T |
| San Francisco 49ers | 12 | 4 | 0 |
| Seattle Seahawks | 8 | 8 | 0 |
| St. Louis Rams | 4 | 12 | 0 |
| Arizona Cardinals | 4 | 12 | 0 |
AFC Wild Card Round
Denver Broncos Over Baltimore Ravens
Pittsburgh Steelers Over San Diego Chargers
NFC Wild Card Round
New Orleans Saints Over Philadelphia Eagles
New York Giants Over Chicago Bears
AFC Divisional Round
Pittsburgh Steelers Over Houston Texans
Denver Broncos Over New England Patriots
NFC Divisional Round
Green Bay Packers Over New York Giants
New Orleans Saints Over San Francisco 49ers
AFC Championship
Pittsburgh Steelers Over Denver Broncos
NFC Championship
Green Bay Packers Over New Orleans Saints
Super Bowl XLVII
Pittsburgh Steelers Over Green Bay Packers
