No preamble can capture the depths to which the Steelers have plummeted since they were 7-4 and in prime position to challenge the Ravens for the AFC North title. Let’s just call it Unleashed Hell. And let’s get right to six things that jump out to me when thinking about how bad it has gotten in Pittsburgh.
Why six? One, I don’t have all week (nor do you). And two, because it looks like it’s going to be a minute before the Steelers add to their collection of six Lombardi Trophies.
Steelers can’t even stink right. If there was ever a team to go 6-11 or 5-12 and a season to do it, this was it. We knew it was not sustainable when the Steelers were winning by scoring two defensive touchdowns or because their opponent dropped more balls than a hammered juggler. Those September wins over the Browns and Ravens now look like so much fool’s gold. And they could cost the Steelers dearly. Imagine having a top-10 pick in a draft that is shaping up to be a really good one for quarterbacks.
Not saying the Steelers should pull the plug on Kenny Pickett, but they can’t rule out drafting a quarterback in the first round either. It’s probably a moot point. They’ll end up going 8-9 or (gasp!) 9-8 — and making their first pick in April after it is realistic to land a potential franchise quarterback. I can hear it now. With the 16th pick in the 2024 NFL Draft, the Pittsburgh Steelers select center…
Not living in his fears makes absolutely no sense unless it is code for JV coaching. So Mike Tomlin is fine with throwing a low-percentage deep pass with the game on the line one week but won’t try a 56-yard field goal that could have kept the Steelers in the game the next week? Trusting the scattershot right arm of Mitch Trubisky against the Patriots but not the right leg of Pro Bowl-caliber kicker Chris Boswell – and in a dome! – against the Colts about sums up Coach Standard Is The Standard’s season. Remember when folks were talking up Tomlin as the NFL Coach of the Year frontrunner?
No one is sparing them a sliver of grace even with all their injuries. No question that the Steelers are beat up. Rocky Balboa at the end of Rocky I and II (the middle of III…) beat up. And no one cares. Not after Trey Sermon and Tyler Goodson just trucked them with the season on the line. Not after Jake Browning beat the Jaguars in Jacksonville by throwing for 354 yards in his second NFL start – five less yards than what Mitch Trubisky put up in his two starts combined this season. The NFL is a brutal, brutal game, and the Steelers, to their credit, never make excuses for injuries. But how come the next-man-up things seems to work everywhere but Pittsburgh this season?
George Pickens makes me pine for Mr. Big Chest. Seriously for all the antics that came with Antonio Brown, he produced at historic levels before becoming Mr. BC. What has Pickens done? Made ESPN’s Top 10 plays a couple of times, including for a catch that didn’t even count since it happened in Latrobe. Four 100-yard receiving games in almost two seasons do not a superstar make. Someone, anyone please get this through to him. Looking at you, Hines Ward (and explain to him that blocking in Pittsburgh isn’t optional).
Calvin Austin III gives me that Dri Archer vibe. Another diminutive burner for whom we had high hopes, Austin just doesn’t seem like he has it. Austin has one big play this season and he’s gotten a decent amount of run if you factor in punt returns where he has been a non-factor. Is he too small? Not enough quickness/wiggle? The bigger question: Is he even on the team next season?
Patrick Peterson conjures up a scene from Animal House. Remember Kevin Bacon – before he was Kevin Bacon – trying to maintain order at the homecoming parade that the Deltas are intent on turning into a bigger shitshow than the Steelers’ offense? Remain calm…all is well.
Peterson continues to espouse a similar message as the losses mount, but I guess not everyone can go all Jim Mora. Bacon’s character ends up getting run over by a frenzied crowd at the end of Animal House, which is apropos given what just happened in Indianapolis.
